Settling

There's this word

Settling

We used to talk about it

How it became a way of living

Like it was a bad thing

I've come a long way since those days.

I smile a LOT more

I feel a lot healthier

And I am still settling

But it's different now.

It's not a bad thing

This place I find myself

My name is Teresa

Some call me Miss Teresa

Several call me Mama T

I am so many things to so many people

I am a friend

I am a person who leans 

And allows herself to be leaned on

I am settling for being the best me I can 

Every day.

I am running - literally

I am training for a half marathon

It concerns some

Thrills others

I am being cautious with my health

eating better

drink less sugar (oh how I do love some sweet tea) 

I stay away from -

artificial sweeteners

carbonated stuffs

all those foods that trigger adrenal fatigue

Oh but I do love me butter pecan ice cream

and there's this person who will go on out there and help me find it

I try to rest.

Take care of myself. 

reflect on thanksgivings

I am settling

Settling for being the best me I can be. 

I am learning

New things every day.

Learning by studying 

Learning by accident (those are often the best lessons)

Learning by observing

Learning that following my heart is absolutely the best thing I can do for me

My newest jewelry creations are some of my best. 

My newest altered journals too

then there is the teaching

Of others to create their own versions of crafty beauty.

Oh how learning to teach has blessed me. 

i am settling

Settling with the knowing that learning never ends. 

Photography

Not something I ever considered trying to be good at. 

Then Cancer took my breath away

And photographing details and moments 

gives my my breath back. 

I see it

I frame it on the screen

Then when I pull it up on the big computer screen 

I may gasp again

That moment

Those feelings frozen in that image. 

Then others may see it too.

(the above flag in the clouds was from July 4, 2015 and I was watching, waiting for beauty)

(and I found it. this one was featured on FOX5 News out of Atlanta)

I am settling - with the fact that this camera can give me and others a tiny glimpse of beauty 

And that is an amazing thing

Flea markets

Junk stores

Encounters with "friends I did know I would have"

Dinners shares

Families blessed

Many cups of coffee

A very public, strong, beautiful relationship

I am settling for life is not perfect

I am settling for how we love each other. 

I am settling for open support.

I am settling for agreeing to disagree

Yes - Lord how I am settling.

For life being beautiful

As age takes its toll. 

I have more wrinkles and grey hair

I have aches and pains that are directly related to the cancer I survived

and some that are just because I am not 20 anymore

And yet I feel more beautiful moments every single day

I refuse to hide any of them

I am settling with who I am

Who I have been

and

Who I might be

That kind of settling feels good all the way to the core of my being.

I am settling with the knowledge that I don't have an unlimited supply of these left for me.

But I am also settling with celebrating every single one I do get. 

Life is beautiful ---- live it beautiful in your way

EVERY SINGLE DAY.

My Empty Nest

Abby has gone North.

She now has a Staten Island, NY Address

A New York Drivers License

And a New York voter registration.

I am so very proud of her adventurous step out into the world.

There's Joe - he's part of the reason for this little residence change.

(Someday, I may forgive him for taking here way off up there) 

(Just kidding - he is in the NYPD Academy and will soon be one of New York's Finest Officers - how could you not be proud of the young man) 

Mama has an Abby sized hole in her world.

But then this little guy joined us. 

Elias Charles Felton

August 26, 2015

9lbs 1oz

He's a cutie - don't you think?

I'm spending time strolling, riding, running.

Making my own transitions for this particular time in my life. 

At times my view feels a little bit hazy.

Much like Madison County on a foggy country morning.

And sometimes it feels like I can see beauty for miles.

Sunsets and sunrises.

Still I collect them.

Reminders that God is generous with Grace and Beauty.

There is an occasion critter encounter.

Again reminders that no matter what the circumstance may be, He is there.

Plans for my future are solid.

So here I find myself. 

Mama to two

Mama T to several more

Watching - waiting - knowing.

Empty nest and all. 

And hard working hands gently cradle a sweet one.

(be still my heart)

We pray for him so

This world is so hard now.

And getting harder every moment.

Little Eli - I hope you too, like big Cam, will be able to say 

"Pop is my best friend" 

or

"I was having too much fun with Mama T to miss you mama"

Only forward.