Brutal Honesty About my Cancer 19 and 6 Years Out

 

yesterday I had scans.

 

 

I worked hard to be ready for the day off work.

 

 

I drank water and coffee diligently in order to be hydrated and have a full bladder.

 

 

I hoped like hell I didn't cough or sneeze, because, I have had two children and we know how that works.

 

Did I mention that I have had a cold?

Go ahead and process that.

 

Sign in for said scan process to start.

Find out that No One chose to let me in that I was supposed to drink the Barium stuff starting two hours before said scan.

Now that would have been helpful.

 

Oh and lets mention that No One called to inform me that I even had scans scheduled.

 

I learned of it from the insurance approval letter.

 

I then called and learned that I had missed the original appointment.

 

Again that same No One found that unimportant.

 

I had bloodwork in that same lab on the day of the original scan appointment.

At least they tried to be considerate of my time.

 

But the receptionist nor the vampire chose to look at the full record about why I was there.

And the vampire cruised right thru my vein.

Bruised much .......uh yup.

 

Now new day.... not as prepared as I thought.

 

Off to the hospital I go

With my smoothie from hell.

Berry smoothie my ass.

 

Check in for a chest xray.

Walk in is how they describe it.

Again ..... oh my aching ass.

Walk in.... check with first receptionist... be beeped thru a door.... sign in on an iPad that refuses to believe I know my birthdate...... get the nice lady to help me verify my birthdate..... "yes ma'am I'm quite sure this is correct." ....... have a seat...... 45 minutes later... walk to another receptionist..... again give my credentials to prove that I am Teresa Atkinson and that, yes that is my correct birthday.... have another 45 minute seat.... allowing me time to finish that damned smoothie flavored bottle of crap....... finally hear my name called and respond to a nice young man who escorts me into the xray wing.... and yes that is my name and my correct birthdate....... please change into this pretty fashion statement gown. ....... face here..... hold onto these handles.... all good. ...... yes I had to wait all that time for a 30second procedure....... how effing convenient is this crap.

 

Drive back to first lab...... have had two hours worth of berry  smoothie in my gut...... sign in ......that damned date again.

 

"Mrs Atkinson we are ready...... can you verify your birthdate......."

 

Its raining.... its 3pm....I have not eaten.....I am frustrated beyond measure aaaand she gets the iv needle against a valve and in trying to adjust the needle she blows the vein.

 

Frustration level two......

 

Finally get iv working.

 

Inject glow juice....... in and out..... take a deep breath.... hold it.... now breathe. Again. Again. Again. All done. But "you might want to ice that vein"

 

 

Now .........

 

Wait for two weeks....... worry like hell if they find something ......frustration level three.

 

Here's  the deal

 

I did not want to be a cancer survivor

But I am.

I did not want major parts of my daily life to be forever changed.

But they are.

I did not want to lose friends because of how cancer changed me and how I live each day.

But it happened.

I did not want to deal with a lot of this alone for a long time.

But I did.

I did not sign up to be inconvenienced on a regular basis by a medical system that doesn't understand that fact.

But I deal with it and the way it works.

I damn well did not sign up for the hurry up and worried wait that is the norm in the medical community.

That shit needs fixing.

 

I an a cancer survivor.

For that I am forever grateful.

But as a cancer survivor, I am regularly exposed to the medical / insurance culture.

Honestly ..... it really sucks.

Hurry up.

More people thru.

Wait.

No your insurance says you have to here for this test.

Yes you need this scan, but you have to go to this lab for that.

 

It could work this way...... blood work, chest xray, scans. Mrs Atkinson heres what we need.....

 

You will do all this right here in this lab on this date.

You'll need to drink contrast. Would like to pick it up here, or should we mail it to you? Yes your insurance has been approved. Good to go.

Please wear comfortable clothing the day of. You can bring a sleep shirt or gown, or we will have one you can change into easily here. Thank you so very much. The doctor will get with you in a few days (not two weeks) with your results. Yes ma'am I know this is stressful.

 

Just recognize me.

Make the process as stress free as possible.

 

Until then, i'll be over here icing this throbbing blown out vein and crying because adrenal fatigue is causing me to hurt all over.

 

 

Now.... please don't send tacky gram nastiness.

I am grateful that I am a survivor.

The rant is about the lack of a compassionate medical culture and process.

Each person I dealt with yesterday was an individual who was nice and professional.

They all treated me with respect.

My care group is excellent.

But it is frustrating to have five different visits for testing and a full month of waiting to find out if I remain a survivor.

Or if I will have to fight that cancer demon again.

And yes I turned 50 on Bastille Day 2015
It will take a little effort, but you can figure out my birthdate from that information.

Then I won't have to know it. You can tell me what it is.
 

 

Life is still beautiful.