2017 A look back --- and forward from here

My OneWord for 2017 was RE-FOCUS. 

Whoo - hoo did I do that. 

My biggest refocus was financial. 

I set a goal to pay off a particular debt in 2017 and tomorrow morning, I will do that. 

(just in the knick of time) 

I also have made major progress on paring down - getting rid of - organizing and all that kind of stuff. 

I am calling it a good year. 

Now for pretty pictures ---

When I was pregnant with my oldest, I was terrified. 

Would she be ok?

Would I be ok? 

I didn't have clue about being a Mom, and yet there I was expecting a child. 

I had a dream about her. 

In the dream, she was an adult and was walking up the driveway at her Grandparents house. 

A tall, thin, dark headed adult.

I never worried about her reaching adulthood again. 

Fast forward - 27 years - 

She and Abby out taking pictures at Grandmother's house. 

Me quietly watching the antics. 

Suddenly there it was -- a deja vu moment.

I was taken back to that dream. 

The one I wrote in my journal so many years ago. 

Oh my - heart stopping. 

The photo here is the EXACT image from the dream so many years ago. 

God moments --- He knows the plans. 

God ------ thank you for all those beautiful moments with her and with her baby sister.

I also captured moments in 2017.

Beautiful images that defy explanation of why I find them beautiful. 

Leaves along a wall.

The play of light and shadow. 

Tiny webs of decay.

I love the outdoors.

This image from a deer stand in central Georgia.

That moment when the sun is setting and a shaft of light illuminates the one leaf. 

It feels as if this was a performance made JUST FOR ME. 

I know the same thing would have happened if I wasn't there, but it just seems like a moment of praise is the perfect response to this happening. 

Life is crazy beautiful --- Look for the moments.

My poor MaggieGraceCreates blog has been sadly neglected a lot.

Mind you - MaggieGrace has been creating.

to the tune of 50 crochet finishes this year.

That's a whole lot of hooky time. 

It's also been a year for being STASHSOURCEFUL.

I've made cards, invitations, tags, journals, crochet items.

So it has been a really good creative year. 

And so far it looks good for next year as well. 

The year has not been without challenges though. 

The, now adult, children are back home. 

This has required adjustments on everyone's part. 

We are learning to live together as adults instead of parent and children. 

So the above photo kind of represents how we may all be all over each other, but find some peace and beauty among the chaos. 

So we all know I love a good cemetery photo.

These are from a church cemetery in Mitchell, Georgia.

The entire place was COVERED in this MOSS overgrowth.

And brings me to my biggest challenge of 2017.

In November, I was diagnosed with GRAVES DISEASE.

Auto immune and attacks at the thyroid. 

I am on a medication designed to push this into remission.

The side effects are aggravating, but bearable.

The biggest issue is avoiding the contact with sick people since we are artificially manipulating my immune system. 

But this too is simply a challenge to learn to live with. And I'll be just fine. 

I'm using the hashtag #upfromthegravesshearose for my posts associated with this journey. 

I continue to collect sunrises and sunsets. 

I had an Instagram conversation with a friend about repeatedly posting similar images and "boring" followers. 

I am so far beyond worrying about that kind of thing. 

I love sunrise.

I love sunset.

I am taking the pictures.

I'll continue sharing them. 

Simple.

God sees fit for me to have another day here.

I praise him for that gift. 

And last but not least, there is this guy. 

He's a Red Shouldered Hawk. 

I consider him "my" hawk.

Here he is in the field. 

I have a special affinity for Raptors, and a very special affinity for Hawks. 

For a long time, this one kept a huge distance from me at all times.

Of late, I've been seeing him closer and closer in. 

I hope this closeness continues.

According to the lore of Spirit Animals, this closeness is a sign to focus on the future. 

To Pause and pay attention to your thought and direction. 

I like this symbolism a lot. 

No having recapped the year, I want to share my word for 2018.

This has become my only true New Years tradition.

I really don't do the whole resolution thing, but I do put a lot of thought into what I want to focus on as each New Year approaches. 

I'll research words and synonyms. 

I'll carefully look at where I have been and where I want to go for now. 

I'll look at areas I consider weak and areas that I consider myself strong. 

I'll ponder and pray. 

Through all of this process, this year, I've decided my word will be....

FULFILL

Here's the context I sent my sweet friend who understands this practice 

I'm choosing FULFILL as in do,complete,accomplish, finish, clear, achieve, satisfy, effect, execute, implement, meet, obey, observe, perfect, realize. 

This one has lots of room for growth. 

Happy New Year my friends.

I'm off on Friday to do some serious self-care. 

See you in the new year. 

It's Quiet in the Woods (not really)

I am an adult novice hunter. 

That sounds a bit strange, but I have not had a long gun in my hands since I was 15.

My dad passed away then and all of that kind of thing went away. 

I've been going to deer camp for several years now.

Going with someone. 

Sitting in a stand with someone.

Taking my camera.

Enjoying the peace that comes from spending time in nature. 

(all kids need to do this --- I repeat ALL kids need serious time away from electronics and indoor stuff) 

A conversation last fall started a series of events that found me,  in the pre-sunrise hours on Saturday morning, putting on camo/safety orange and climbing on a four wheeler to drive myself to my own stand in the woods. I've a new gun slung across my chest. A pistol at my side. A backpack with water, camera, flashlight, extra ammo, a notepad and my crochet project.

I do not consider myself a hunter. It is still about photography for me. But this property also is home to feral hogs, coyote, and you never know, maybe a trophy buck.  Crusty Old Guy insisted that if I am going to the woods by myself, I need to be armed. So the process proceeded. 

And here I find me.

Sunrise in the woods.

I find my stand. 

Climb, 

Get situated. 

And I sit. 

LISTENING. 

The woods are peaceful in this time. 

There are sounds of the critters beginning to stir. 

I barely see a rabbit scurry out of the open plot. 

Then my newest friend shows up.

Go here to hear what I listened to for a solid three hours. 

A woodpecker - I never saw him, but he/she was sure hammering on the trees. 

That was it. 

My phone died for reasons unknown. 

There were moments when it was SO STILL that I could hear my hook pulling through the yarn. 

But in those still, even noisy moments, I was able to THINK. 

I did not see another critter.

Thinking about everything, and nothing. 

About the man who had given me this gift.

The gift of  recognizing beauty in nature. 

My Daddy. 

How the accident that took him from me had changed everything. 

About the Crusty Old Guy, giving me a new version of this gift, by allowing me to work into this position this morning. Slowly. I have inconvenienced him all this time by going with him and there are locations that two people cannot comfortably or practically go. 

I find myself pondering my health -----

I find myself pondering my path ------

I crochet and I have these conversations in my mind. 

I have nothing to kill but time. 

My phone is dead. I have no idea what time it is. But I stay three washcloths and a coaster for the morning hunt. 

On the way back to the campers, I see those flowers above and I think of my Nanny - she called them "frost flowers" because they bloom just before the first frost of the season.

Although I have been by the tree below hundreds of time, I never noticed that the "cross" branch is not the same species and yet it goes through the tree. This is the kind of natural occurrence that I find fascinating 

An afternoon of busy. 

No nap this day. 

Decisions about hunting locations are discussed. 

I can choose any one of  a number of places. 

But I decide to go back to the same one. 

Again - me - my stuff - my crochet - my thoughts. 

Some of them are very personal. Some are just absolutely fun. Some are very much worthy of sharing. 

I feel a bit lost right now. 

My health is an issue.

I am uncomfortable with joint inflammation a lot. 

The thyroid issue seems to be at the root of my weight problem. 

I am not sleeping well. 

I feel anxiety building in me. That is an unfamiliar feeling. 

I go with it and see where it leads me. 

When I find it leading to a seriously negative place, I make a deliberate decision to back off.

"for I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13

This verse follows one of the more familiar verses (Isaiah 41:10), but  I find the 13th one to be the one I recite to myself often. I like the image of God holding my hand. 

Just as I am holding this prayer meeting over myself, this little guy steps into the food plot. 

What? 

Unicorns do exist. 

This guy is in no danger from me. I reach for my camera, not my gun. 

And I proceed to be aware of my breathing, my heartbeat, my every motion, in order not to startle him away. 

I want to watch him as long as possible. 

He ambles.

Grazes.

There is such peace watching him. 

He scratches, flicks that tail with the "all is well" motion. 

Yes buddy, all is well.

I can't decide if he has broken that second antler off or if it hasn't developed. 

It doesn't seem that he is injured at all. 

But in those moments, I am fully aware that being here is the best "self care" I can give myself. 

I find myself again lifting gratitude for this encounter. 

For 40 MINUTES, he ambles and grazes. 

40 BEAUTIFUL minutes.

He had a squirrel friend join him and that was fun to watch as well. 

Running - gathering - chittering. 

I'm telling this as a chronological story. 

It was a beautiful moment for me. 

The profound part of the story was not really seeing this guy. 

The profound part was realizing just how much my life has changed since I did not die in 2010 from renal cell carcinoma. 

I also realized that, no matter what the outcome of this next health challenge is, I will be surrounded by beauty and by beautiful people. 

God is good - so good.

I have been allowed to experience this guy up close. He literally walked straight to the stand. I looked down from the window and could have easily been able to spit on him. 

Such a beautiful moment. 

All photos are mine. 

I am creating a "tales from the woods" tag for tracking these stories.

Hopefully there will be more fun stuff under this heading. 

Life is crazy beautiful.

Here I go again

In early September, I had my yearly wellness visit. 

I've been struggling with some issues and I brought that up. 

The issues seem so insignificant.

But since I am so aware of how my body feels everyday, I knew something was up. 

I have the most amazing medical team and sweet Sarah added some additional labs to the work up.

A Rheumatology Panel, an extra Endocrine panel. 

Both came back with some concerning numbers. 

The inflammation numbers were high, but for now, this is discounted because as a singular kidney patient I cannot that anti-inflammatory meds and the endocrine results show that I could have some issues that cause those. 

So deeper investigation on the endocrine side - aka more tests. 

Well tumor markers were high. 

Hmm. 

Thyroid numbers at all levels were off. 

So off to the imaging labs, I trekked. 

We have discovered a little issue.

Hello everyone. Meet NORMAN. He's a thyroid nodule, we suspect that he is my troublemaker. 

This discovery has me scheduled for a biopsy later this month with an Endocrine Specialist. 

Thus the reason for this title.

HERE I GO AGAIN. 

Spending money on medical stuff. 

Searching for answers. 

This is a path all too familiar for me. 

And yet, I do not feel anxious. 

Wait - what? - did I just type that? 

Yes, I do not feel terribly anxious.

Frustrated? - yes

Had a minor pity party? - yup, it lasted all of about 3 minutes. 

Anger? - that's my most common expected response - but it's more about the inconvenience.

But I have not even thought - Why me? 

BLESSED? - so very much. This is my reality. 

Prayers surround me - I feel them - blessed.

The day I got the results of the scan, a phone call to my partner in crime brought the phrase "need me to pack up and come on?"  - blessed

Family, girlfriends, buddies, customers, co-workers supporting me?  - full on - blessed

Fantastic medical team? - blessed

Job that will not have an issue with dealing with whatever this is? - blessed

Faith that no matter what this is, I will be okay? - blessed

Being blessed and grateful for that gives me a relief from anxiety, and I can genuinely say, I am okay. 

so for right now here is where I am ---- I have a nodule in my thyroid - it may be cancer - we will find out - I am blessed beyond measure to have a fabulous support network. 

We will simply do the next right thing. 

I refuse to jump way ahead in this process. 

Mostly, I just want to feel better. 

Life is crazy beautiful. 

Yes all photos are mine --- that scan photo is mine (I paid for the danged thing so I'm claiming it. )

On rising above -----

Not once yesterday did I think about surviving cancer ----- not even once.

I thought about beauty.

I thought about gifts.

I thought about laughter.

I thought about intimacy.

I thought about strength.

I thought about gratitude.

I thought about love.

I'm calling that a beautiful day.

(honestly they all are beautiful - this one just had that extra gift)

The thing that cost so much ------

Sunday was Easter.

The sunrise service was beautiful.

Breakfast was amazing. ( Methodists can really cook - and they take a potluck seriously) 

The cantata was harmony. 

The lunch was delicious.

The nap was then fretful.

And the awakening from that nap was wretched. 

Because Sunday was also the anniversary of  the Renal Cell Carcinoma surgery that took my left kidney. 

The day of my surgery is the day that cost so much. 

See, I woke from that surgery with my Aunt and Uncle there with me. 

I love them both dearly and I am forever glad that they were there.

Otherwise, I would have awakened alone. 

There was no intention of harm to my soul, however it happened. 

He knew I was to be okay. 

The doctors had covered the surgery and outcome with him. 

He was relieved. 

He left the hospital and me in the quite capable hands of my loved ones. 

It cost me dearly - that decision. 

I was once again for a major medical issue - ALONE. 

Previous to this - I had pursued the follow up for breast cancer - alone.

Every damned mamogram.

It was just me and the medical people who covered it all. 

Every damned scan. 

And Sunday - as I woke from the nap - there it was again. the memory of alone. 

Twice since then - he has attended church. 

he would have attended at Christmas, but my anger over this reared it's head and there was a confrontation about it. 

And so - on Easter Sunday - the pews filled with new Easter clothes covered families - I wore black and sat by myself. 

Like so many other Sundays. 

But this time I know I am not alone. 

He is with me. 

He brings joy.

He encourages me.

He recognizes me.

Calls me by name. 

Jones Chapel UMC loved me through so much. 

God has loved me through so much. 

I am tired.

Cancer took so much from me. 

It's time for me to take some of those things and move forward again. 

Hold on to your hats people. I made a decision on April 16, 2010.

I think seven years is long enough to be patient. 

I almost wrote "don't you?"

But it is time for me to stop the worrying about what YOU think.

I'm picking up the pieces. 

And --- I know who I can lean on to help

As 2015 closes ---- a look back

My youngest graduated from college.

She moved to New York.

I am so proud of the young woman she is becoming.

My oldest daughter moved from an apartment into a house.

She had big breakthroughs in her research projects.

She gave credit to the good Lord.

I am so proud of the young woman she is becoming. 

Me. 

I have struggled.

Stopped.

Regrouped.

Stumbled.

Got back up.

Started over.

It has been a tough year.

I took lots of beautiful photographs. 

the one above a favorite.

I made lots of projects (finished a few from the past as well) 

And as difficult a year it has been for me (and a certain Crusty Old Guy),

I continue to proclaim

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

Photo above courtesy of Molly.

I am a survivor. 

Although I no longer wear that necklace 100% of the time. 

Why? Because I no longer have to remind myself anymore. 

I have gained some weight back. 

How? Enjoying the hell out of life beautiful.

Taking the time to eat dinner with friends.

Or solitude by myself. 

But then came the end of year commitment that I made to Molly.

I may have continued some over indulging on eating, but I honored the agreement to run a half marathon for my 50th birthday. 

Hardest thing I have ever done voluntarily.

But I did it. 

I trained.

I was ready.

Cancer scans first though.

Good news - you don't have cancer.

Bad news - there is a blockage in your kidney.

untreated leads to dialysis and ultimately transplant. 

I have no time for that. 

SO 

I scale back my actual  half marathon approach

run it a little slower than planned

still - I finished in under 4 hours (my personal goal) 

and to protect my kidney through the run. I drank extra and was careful about staying as hydrated as possible. 

3:44:27 

one kidney 

cancer survivor twice

facing surgery when this is all over.

makes me pretty badass I think. 

then surgery.

stent placed. 

follow up. 

didn't work

do over

second surgery

another stent

pray this one works.

today finds me recovering from two kidney surgeries in two weeks

hopefully not facing a third. 

I hate anesthesia

I hate pain meds

I hate being a singular kidney person

I didn't ask for this. 

and today finds me realizing that I can hate it all I want to

But I still have to walk this path. 

Because the alternative really sucks

it also finds me re-committing to be as healthy as I possible can. 

I'll be eating better

exercising better

stress relieving better (this is the biggest reason for my weight gain)

the stress affects the adrenal function negatively. 

because life really is beautiful and I got no desire to stop participating in proclaiming that fact. 

And I am sure there are gonna be some really great moments to collect in the coming year. 

So look out 2016 --- Progress is the word --- this one could shake some people's world

Brutal Honesty About my Cancer 19 and 6 Years Out

 

yesterday I had scans.

 

 

I worked hard to be ready for the day off work.

 

 

I drank water and coffee diligently in order to be hydrated and have a full bladder.

 

 

I hoped like hell I didn't cough or sneeze, because, I have had two children and we know how that works.

 

Did I mention that I have had a cold?

Go ahead and process that.

 

Sign in for said scan process to start.

Find out that No One chose to let me in that I was supposed to drink the Barium stuff starting two hours before said scan.

Now that would have been helpful.

 

Oh and lets mention that No One called to inform me that I even had scans scheduled.

 

I learned of it from the insurance approval letter.

 

I then called and learned that I had missed the original appointment.

 

Again that same No One found that unimportant.

 

I had bloodwork in that same lab on the day of the original scan appointment.

At least they tried to be considerate of my time.

 

But the receptionist nor the vampire chose to look at the full record about why I was there.

And the vampire cruised right thru my vein.

Bruised much .......uh yup.

 

Now new day.... not as prepared as I thought.

 

Off to the hospital I go

With my smoothie from hell.

Berry smoothie my ass.

 

Check in for a chest xray.

Walk in is how they describe it.

Again ..... oh my aching ass.

Walk in.... check with first receptionist... be beeped thru a door.... sign in on an iPad that refuses to believe I know my birthdate...... get the nice lady to help me verify my birthdate..... "yes ma'am I'm quite sure this is correct." ....... have a seat...... 45 minutes later... walk to another receptionist..... again give my credentials to prove that I am Teresa Atkinson and that, yes that is my correct birthday.... have another 45 minute seat.... allowing me time to finish that damned smoothie flavored bottle of crap....... finally hear my name called and respond to a nice young man who escorts me into the xray wing.... and yes that is my name and my correct birthdate....... please change into this pretty fashion statement gown. ....... face here..... hold onto these handles.... all good. ...... yes I had to wait all that time for a 30second procedure....... how effing convenient is this crap.

 

Drive back to first lab...... have had two hours worth of berry  smoothie in my gut...... sign in ......that damned date again.

 

"Mrs Atkinson we are ready...... can you verify your birthdate......."

 

Its raining.... its 3pm....I have not eaten.....I am frustrated beyond measure aaaand she gets the iv needle against a valve and in trying to adjust the needle she blows the vein.

 

Frustration level two......

 

Finally get iv working.

 

Inject glow juice....... in and out..... take a deep breath.... hold it.... now breathe. Again. Again. Again. All done. But "you might want to ice that vein"

 

 

Now .........

 

Wait for two weeks....... worry like hell if they find something ......frustration level three.

 

Here's  the deal

 

I did not want to be a cancer survivor

But I am.

I did not want major parts of my daily life to be forever changed.

But they are.

I did not want to lose friends because of how cancer changed me and how I live each day.

But it happened.

I did not want to deal with a lot of this alone for a long time.

But I did.

I did not sign up to be inconvenienced on a regular basis by a medical system that doesn't understand that fact.

But I deal with it and the way it works.

I damn well did not sign up for the hurry up and worried wait that is the norm in the medical community.

That shit needs fixing.

 

I an a cancer survivor.

For that I am forever grateful.

But as a cancer survivor, I am regularly exposed to the medical / insurance culture.

Honestly ..... it really sucks.

Hurry up.

More people thru.

Wait.

No your insurance says you have to here for this test.

Yes you need this scan, but you have to go to this lab for that.

 

It could work this way...... blood work, chest xray, scans. Mrs Atkinson heres what we need.....

 

You will do all this right here in this lab on this date.

You'll need to drink contrast. Would like to pick it up here, or should we mail it to you? Yes your insurance has been approved. Good to go.

Please wear comfortable clothing the day of. You can bring a sleep shirt or gown, or we will have one you can change into easily here. Thank you so very much. The doctor will get with you in a few days (not two weeks) with your results. Yes ma'am I know this is stressful.

 

Just recognize me.

Make the process as stress free as possible.

 

Until then, i'll be over here icing this throbbing blown out vein and crying because adrenal fatigue is causing me to hurt all over.

 

 

Now.... please don't send tacky gram nastiness.

I am grateful that I am a survivor.

The rant is about the lack of a compassionate medical culture and process.

Each person I dealt with yesterday was an individual who was nice and professional.

They all treated me with respect.

My care group is excellent.

But it is frustrating to have five different visits for testing and a full month of waiting to find out if I remain a survivor.

Or if I will have to fight that cancer demon again.

And yes I turned 50 on Bastille Day 2015
It will take a little effort, but you can figure out my birthdate from that information.

Then I won't have to know it. You can tell me what it is.
 

 

Life is still beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



fumbling ----- grace covering it

I had cancer. 

IT was scary. 

I had friends.

They did not know what to say. 

How to respond.

What to do. 

He lost his dad (mother, wife, brother, child) 

It was sad.

He had friends.

They did not know what to say.

How to respond.

What to do. 

Insert whatever scenario into this description.

They don not know what to say.

How to respond.

What to do. 

Here is my best advice.

LOVE - SHOW UP - ADMIT THAT YOU HAVE NO WISDOM - THEN RESPOND FROM YOUR HEART. 

You got it covered then.

Respond from that loving place in your heart. 

Grace will cover the rest.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now to add a funny.

About responding from your heart. 

There will be no names here but we laughed and laughed

About this

I was recovering from my surgery.

Enjoying the euphoria of great pain meds.

Home alone. 

A sweet visitor came by. 

I had one of those moments of "bathroom NOW" 

I walk in and apparently MOM is the only person in the world who notices that we 

HAVE NO PAPER. 

What to do.

At that moment - I made do with the last of the kleenex. 

Emerging and with that apology for the sudden exit of the visit, I asked if she would mind driving to the store for me to refill this required item. 

She did one better. 

Walked to her car.

Opened the trunk.

and produced a 24 pack of toilet paper. 

and said ---- I have ____ kids. I never know when we will be somewhere and NEED a roll of paper.

After I quit laughing - I said "and GOD uses unlikely people."

I have great friends.

Talk about responding with heart. 

She also responded with necessity and laughter. 

__________________________________________________________

Go ahead - respond - grace will cover the fumbling.

YESTERDAY

10-26-2014

THE 18TH ANNIVERSARY OF MY FIRST RE-BIRTHDAY

I CELEBRATED

THERE WAS BREAKFAST

THERE WAS CHILI

THERE WAS A HAYRIDE

THERE WERE KIDS

THERE WAS A FIRE BREATHING DRAGON WHO HELPED DRIVE THE TRACTOR

THERE WAS THE UNLOADING OF HAY

THERE WAS LAUNDRY

THERE WAS LAUGHTER

THERE WAS JOY

THERE WAS NO MENTION

FORTUNATELY, I DIDN'T EXPECT ONE

SEE, I DID MOST OF THAT JOURNEY ALONE.

LOT'S OF THE SECOND ONE TOO

NOT ANYMORE

BECAUSE - WELL - TRACTOR DRIVER

THE "FWEND" OF THE FIRE BREATHING DRAGON

HE WON'T LET ME.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

perspective......

I chase it. 

the sunrise.

the sunset.

tiny moments of gifts.

blessings.

gratitudes. 

and i'm hiding a big secret. 

somedays.

somedays - this is hard to do. 

I watched the premiere of the new series "Chasing Life" 

I was not prepared for the moment -

the moment when April is given the news that she has cancer.

Softball Princess was sitting on the sofa intently watching me - 

a single intake of breath - a solitary tear.

i was immediately back there

in that office where that word was hung in the air by the urologist. 

I watched the rest of the program

and close to the end, April visits her father's grave 

saying that she may be seeing him soon.

and you could see the moment she decides 

but not TOO soon. 

and I recommitted to my promise to God and myself 

So here i still am 

CHASING THIS BEAUTIFUL LIFE!!!

Last night

on the way home

storm clouds gathered. 

a deep emotional conversation had occurred over a glorious meal.

now bantering back and forth. 

I saw the sunset glow below the clouds.

grabbed the phone and started. 

rain

and sunshine

my mama would say

"devil's beating his wife"

as I'm talking about how pretty. 

my chauffeur remarked casually

"i like those up there" 

and i raised the lens to capture the bright glow against the blue skies

ABOVE the storm. 

the picture above is his "beautiful moment"

the picture below is mine.

both are beautiful

both are grace filled

dramatically different perspectives

from almost the same vantage point.

and you know what

that is completely ok. 

as i started writing this my sister in love for all these years called.

father's day gathering being planned

we spoke of the difficulty with certain "events" for various people 

and how they choose to deal with it

there is no right or wrong way

everyone has to get through things their own way

acceptance - love - grace - blessings

why can't we all just see 

that these words give us a way

to help ourselves and others

catch this beautiful life

I love life

life is beautiful

I'm on my way forward

I am not the same person I was yesterday.

I dang sure am not the same as I was  30 years ago.

I won't be the same tomorrow

and 

I am sorry that this hurts others

i accept that they are doing things the way they can

I love them any way

I graciously understand that this is the way they are

I give them my blessings to continue on their own path.

and i so hope they can give me those same four lines in return. 

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL