Here I go again

In early September, I had my yearly wellness visit. 

I've been struggling with some issues and I brought that up. 

The issues seem so insignificant.

But since I am so aware of how my body feels everyday, I knew something was up. 

I have the most amazing medical team and sweet Sarah added some additional labs to the work up.

A Rheumatology Panel, an extra Endocrine panel. 

Both came back with some concerning numbers. 

The inflammation numbers were high, but for now, this is discounted because as a singular kidney patient I cannot that anti-inflammatory meds and the endocrine results show that I could have some issues that cause those. 

So deeper investigation on the endocrine side - aka more tests. 

Well tumor markers were high. 

Hmm. 

Thyroid numbers at all levels were off. 

So off to the imaging labs, I trekked. 

We have discovered a little issue.

Hello everyone. Meet NORMAN. He's a thyroid nodule, we suspect that he is my troublemaker. 

This discovery has me scheduled for a biopsy later this month with an Endocrine Specialist. 

Thus the reason for this title.

HERE I GO AGAIN. 

Spending money on medical stuff. 

Searching for answers. 

This is a path all too familiar for me. 

And yet, I do not feel anxious. 

Wait - what? - did I just type that? 

Yes, I do not feel terribly anxious.

Frustrated? - yes

Had a minor pity party? - yup, it lasted all of about 3 minutes. 

Anger? - that's my most common expected response - but it's more about the inconvenience.

But I have not even thought - Why me? 

BLESSED? - so very much. This is my reality. 

Prayers surround me - I feel them - blessed.

The day I got the results of the scan, a phone call to my partner in crime brought the phrase "need me to pack up and come on?"  - blessed

Family, girlfriends, buddies, customers, co-workers supporting me?  - full on - blessed

Fantastic medical team? - blessed

Job that will not have an issue with dealing with whatever this is? - blessed

Faith that no matter what this is, I will be okay? - blessed

Being blessed and grateful for that gives me a relief from anxiety, and I can genuinely say, I am okay. 

so for right now here is where I am ---- I have a nodule in my thyroid - it may be cancer - we will find out - I am blessed beyond measure to have a fabulous support network. 

We will simply do the next right thing. 

I refuse to jump way ahead in this process. 

Mostly, I just want to feel better. 

Life is crazy beautiful. 

Yes all photos are mine --- that scan photo is mine (I paid for the danged thing so I'm claiming it. )