2017 A look back --- and forward from here

My OneWord for 2017 was RE-FOCUS. 

Whoo - hoo did I do that. 

My biggest refocus was financial. 

I set a goal to pay off a particular debt in 2017 and tomorrow morning, I will do that. 

(just in the knick of time) 

I also have made major progress on paring down - getting rid of - organizing and all that kind of stuff. 

I am calling it a good year. 

Now for pretty pictures ---

When I was pregnant with my oldest, I was terrified. 

Would she be ok?

Would I be ok? 

I didn't have clue about being a Mom, and yet there I was expecting a child. 

I had a dream about her. 

In the dream, she was an adult and was walking up the driveway at her Grandparents house. 

A tall, thin, dark headed adult.

I never worried about her reaching adulthood again. 

Fast forward - 27 years - 

She and Abby out taking pictures at Grandmother's house. 

Me quietly watching the antics. 

Suddenly there it was -- a deja vu moment.

I was taken back to that dream. 

The one I wrote in my journal so many years ago. 

Oh my - heart stopping. 

The photo here is the EXACT image from the dream so many years ago. 

God moments --- He knows the plans. 

God ------ thank you for all those beautiful moments with her and with her baby sister.

I also captured moments in 2017.

Beautiful images that defy explanation of why I find them beautiful. 

Leaves along a wall.

The play of light and shadow. 

Tiny webs of decay.

I love the outdoors.

This image from a deer stand in central Georgia.

That moment when the sun is setting and a shaft of light illuminates the one leaf. 

It feels as if this was a performance made JUST FOR ME. 

I know the same thing would have happened if I wasn't there, but it just seems like a moment of praise is the perfect response to this happening. 

Life is crazy beautiful --- Look for the moments.

My poor MaggieGraceCreates blog has been sadly neglected a lot.

Mind you - MaggieGrace has been creating.

to the tune of 50 crochet finishes this year.

That's a whole lot of hooky time. 

It's also been a year for being STASHSOURCEFUL.

I've made cards, invitations, tags, journals, crochet items.

So it has been a really good creative year. 

And so far it looks good for next year as well. 

The year has not been without challenges though. 

The, now adult, children are back home. 

This has required adjustments on everyone's part. 

We are learning to live together as adults instead of parent and children. 

So the above photo kind of represents how we may all be all over each other, but find some peace and beauty among the chaos. 

So we all know I love a good cemetery photo.

These are from a church cemetery in Mitchell, Georgia.

The entire place was COVERED in this MOSS overgrowth.

And brings me to my biggest challenge of 2017.

In November, I was diagnosed with GRAVES DISEASE.

Auto immune and attacks at the thyroid. 

I am on a medication designed to push this into remission.

The side effects are aggravating, but bearable.

The biggest issue is avoiding the contact with sick people since we are artificially manipulating my immune system. 

But this too is simply a challenge to learn to live with. And I'll be just fine. 

I'm using the hashtag #upfromthegravesshearose for my posts associated with this journey. 

I continue to collect sunrises and sunsets. 

I had an Instagram conversation with a friend about repeatedly posting similar images and "boring" followers. 

I am so far beyond worrying about that kind of thing. 

I love sunrise.

I love sunset.

I am taking the pictures.

I'll continue sharing them. 

Simple.

God sees fit for me to have another day here.

I praise him for that gift. 

And last but not least, there is this guy. 

He's a Red Shouldered Hawk. 

I consider him "my" hawk.

Here he is in the field. 

I have a special affinity for Raptors, and a very special affinity for Hawks. 

For a long time, this one kept a huge distance from me at all times.

Of late, I've been seeing him closer and closer in. 

I hope this closeness continues.

According to the lore of Spirit Animals, this closeness is a sign to focus on the future. 

To Pause and pay attention to your thought and direction. 

I like this symbolism a lot. 

No having recapped the year, I want to share my word for 2018.

This has become my only true New Years tradition.

I really don't do the whole resolution thing, but I do put a lot of thought into what I want to focus on as each New Year approaches. 

I'll research words and synonyms. 

I'll carefully look at where I have been and where I want to go for now. 

I'll look at areas I consider weak and areas that I consider myself strong. 

I'll ponder and pray. 

Through all of this process, this year, I've decided my word will be....

FULFILL

Here's the context I sent my sweet friend who understands this practice 

I'm choosing FULFILL as in do,complete,accomplish, finish, clear, achieve, satisfy, effect, execute, implement, meet, obey, observe, perfect, realize. 

This one has lots of room for growth. 

Happy New Year my friends.

I'm off on Friday to do some serious self-care. 

See you in the new year. 

Been a while...

The last time I was here was July.

Lots has happened since then. 

And I got side tracked from this space. 

But that is life.

So it's time again to pour out. 

I'm still downsizing things.

Throwing away.

Using.

Giving away. 

Finding ways to effectively store.

Learning more about who I am.

Why I am this way.

Why I really needed to make changes.

And I look for beauty every moment of everyday.

Because you cannot have a lovely silhouette without seeing darkness.....

think about that for a minute. 

From the darkness in my life, rise moments of beauty and let me tell you, I search for that beauty. 

Like below. 

But every now and then you get stuck. 

Focusing on the negative "prickly" parts of living. 

And that is how it happens. 

I get side tracked. 

So then I have to rework my focus again. 

My house is a mess.

This fact is a disappointment to my children.

OH GOD HOW I HATE THAT THEIR MOTHER IS A DISAPPOINTMENT.

I am so sorry girls. 

I'm trying and failing and trying and failing.

over and over and over

And then I get focused on that and then I don't like myself and then I get all overwhelmed and regretful and then and then and then. 

See I got focused on the prickly bits. 

the hurtful and the those cobwebby things that try and hold us all back or get in the way of progressing forward. 

Like that picture below.

If we all could only step back and look at the bigger parts. 

Yes, I need to keep the laundry folded.

But I would rather you see me making a special gift for someone. 

Yes, the Christmas decorating needs to happen.

But first I have to clear the surfaces of crap in order to make the room. 

I promise I'll get there. 

But I beg your patience as I work through the emotional entangled mess that stuff has over me. 

And please reassure me that the progress is appreciated and not just expected. 

I really think that is a large part of many issues.

We just don't take time to appreciate. 

I promise one day, you will want to talk to me.

Having faced the cancer demon and almost losing that battle, I sure hope it won't be too late.

Until then, I'll be searching for moments that make my heart grateful for the new day. 

See that sunrise below -- another chance to get it right.

Clarity comes in unexpected moments.

I failed in many ways

But then there is that moment when reality says.

LOVE WILL WIN.

That clarity that says we all will survive.

And if we each pay attention and live fully in each moment, we will not only survive, we will thrive. 

And by thriving among all the chaos, we will be able to stand taller that before and be an inspiration to others. 

And again the stark darkness will be seen as beautiful when it is surrounded by the light. 

Then there are those moments that are just beautiful. 

Nothing is complicated.

Very little stress surrounding them.

Just simple, graceful, beautiful moments. 

For 2017, those are the ones I am going to attempt to collect. 

I am sure there will be opportunity to deal with negative and stressful and complex and difficult.

But I am really going to try hard to see those lovely ones instead.

Of course folding the laundry might just give me a better view. 

Long range plans are being made.

These plans will make a difference in all our lives, once we all get over the initial shocks of change.

Just look way out there --- beyond the mundane and see the glory ----

I know this all come about jumbled and cryptic.

Because I feel that way right now myself. 

But I am tired of shortchanging me and trying to make everyone happy and seeing nothing but silence, disappointment, and frustration from those in my home. 

Out here - I am different --- out here - I can breathe.

and this last photo has a seriously funny story. 

Returning from deer camp in the early morning light. 

I look to the right and see that glow on the rails. 

I want that photo. 

I want to capture this moment.

I want a way to remember how I feel - right now. 

so.

I pull over - shut the car off - grab the camera and walk back to the tracks. 

I know I am safe because I will hear a train coming or feel the vibration in plenty of time. 

So I meander onto the tracks.

Kneel carefully on a cross tie. 

and proceed to focus my attention though the camera lens.

Just a few moments later, I see flashing blue lights in my peripheral vision.

Looking over my shoulder, I see the young officer carefully approaching me. 

"is everything okay ma'am" 

Yes sir, I'm taking photos of the sunrise in the bend up there.

The relief flooded his face.

He was not going to have to drag a nut case - waiting for the train - from the tracks today.

I processed in my mind what he saw when he approached the crossing, and fully understood his concern. 

Kneeling woman, looked to be in prayer (he couldn't see the camera from his angle), patiently waiting for the train. 

My response.

Yes sir, I am a little crazy, but I am not MENTAL. 

So yes, this photo has the ability to take me right back to that moment of hysterical laughter. 

Church in the Wildwood

"There's a church in the valley by the wildwood,"

An afternoon riding the 4 Wheeler.

With the person who knows how much I LOVE old buildings.

We wind up at this old church in Taliafero County, GA.

I was immediately taken by the building and grounds. 

We will start today outside.

I took way too many photos for just one post. 

We parked under the canopy of the most massive pine tree I think I have ever seen. 

I hopped off and grabbed the camera. 

Photos started immediately.

Details I noticed immediately.

It looks abandoned, but the grass is cut around the church and in the cemetery.

The building is suffering from damage, but is at a point that it could be restored.

I'm pretty sure that I've got the most fabulous best friend in the world, with the Crusty Old Guy.

As I walked up I then noticed 

The windows match the vent area in the center front. 

How stunning will this be with those shakes restored.

This would be a beautiful building to live in. 

Oh look at that rust on the tin.

(dang I love me some rusty worn stuff.)

A different angle shows something that Crusty Old Guy pointed out. The two tower rooflines are not the same. 

(Does anyone know the why of that?)

And look at the slight curvature of the porch roof. (Swoon) 

Notice the single door to the right. There is one on the left as well.

As he explored the grounds, I eased up on the porch.

Let the trespassing begin.

I was very cautious. Testing each step up and across carefully. 

Loving that slight pink tint to the double doors.

Antioch Baptist Church

Founded 1886

( checking the history of the church, this building was erected in 1899)

And look, that door is slightly ajar.

(those who know me well know that YES, I went in)

The back of the church has that little addition area. This is the pulpit area and obviously had a different roofline in the past. 

I really LOVE those windows. 

One last detail for today.

Those single doors on either side of the porch.

Restrooms - and quite clearly marked. Handwritten.

If I were to restore this building, I would leave that detail.

If this were a salvaged door, I would use it for a bathroom door and once again I would leave that handwritten detail. 

would you?

Next time we will take a good look around inside ---

Remarkable isn't it. 

Thanks Crusty Old Guy for taking me to visit this place. 

And, because my sunrise and sunset pictures are my claim to fame, here's a beauty ---