My --- how I have changed.........and trying to correct what i did wrong.

So, there was this text / facebook conversation last week. 

Molly "organized" a dinner with her parents. (her facebook word) 

Now, let's just say, I do not see her as often as I would like. (Ben, you too) 

She's a young married lady, full time grad student, has two dogs, is a teaching assistant and lives SO FAR AWAY ---- aka 19 miles in Athens. So I definitely understand. Add to that - as she was growing up, we did not visit the grandparents as frequently as we should have. So there is no pattern there for being committed to EVERY SUNDAY AT LUNCH with the parents. 

And THIS IS NOT AN ANGRY POST! 

I repeat - I AM NOT AT ALL ANGRY. 

But - I digress - 

I was tickled that they were coming. 

And she organized a dinner after all

Mom cooked and she brought pie. 

Any way - because I really did have a major upheaval in my life a few years ago - I am trying to make the girls understand that I REALLY REALLY need to see them and spend time with them. 

And I REALLY REALLY want at some time in the future to see the Grandchildren. 

So ---- back to the dinner. 

Molly and Ben are coming for dinner. 

Special request - deer - in some form.

So I fixed tenderloin - marinated in a CocaCola concoction (it was amazing)

then roasted asparagus and potatos

along with a salad ---- 

And I wanted a way for her to know I was excited about her coming. 

It was a glorious spring day.

So, I moved the table off the porch out under the pecan trees. 

Added benches and that rainbow fabric that makes me tear up.

We hung it as wall covering when I was pregnant with her. Then it has been tablecloth, sheets, curtains, baby doll blankets, fort walls - and numerous other fun things. 

Then, I strolled the yard and put a little of this and a little of that in a vase. 

(it was in the center - but she moved it with the phrase "this is pretty, but I can't see you.)

It was all about showing her that I was excited she was visiting. 

Well ----- that backfired a bit. 

She was a little skeptical --- what's up with this --- we never do this. 

Yes - Molly you are right - and it was wrong of me that we didn't. 

And the skepticism caused me to feel a little silly in my thinking this would feel special. 

Take another look - - - yup - - - skeptical. 

But I swallowed my awkwardness and went on with the plan. 

We sat down and had a wonderful meal. 

Not fancy, but still special. 

There were laughter and stories. 

We caught up on their comings and goings. 

There were smiles and a retreat into the house as the coolness of dusk arrived. 

It may have been awkward and unusual to go to that effort, but to me it was well worth it. 

See - I didn't die in 2010.

I vowed to live fully and beautifully. 

And an impromptu picnic on a sunny spring day under the pecan trees felt full and beautiful. 

Cancer did not win. 

There will be other opportunities to do fun, unusual, full, beautiful, fun things like this. 

Who knows, I may even hang that white candolier from one of those trees. 

I love my life. 

Gonna keep surprising people.