He simply wrapped his arms around me.
as the tears slowly fell
and I poured out
took my mask off
afraid of what I was saying
completely unable to stop the torrent of words spilling out
I laugh easily in public
even about my weight
and here I was completely vulnerable
spilling insecurity after insecurity
what he did - changed everything
he tilted my chin and said
"no one else can or will ever do what you do for me"
pulled me close again and let me simply rest in those words
**************************************************************
Thats the simple version of the story.
Truth is - it was emotionally, mentally, and physically one of the most draining
conversations I have ever had.
But it was also on of the most freeing ones EVER.
I write it to share what was handled right in this discussion
I was right to face the fear and share my insecurities.
He was right to listen carefully.
He didn't try to fix my insecurity.
He didn't try to use endless words to build me up. (which often sound like bullshit)
I poured out my heart.
He spoke from his.
Simple
Affirming
Real
Hard
Velveteen Rabbit Stuff
I struggle to this day with my weight.
But that day's conversation stays with me.
Keeping me plugging away at trying to become more healthy.
And to look better.
And the knowing that everything will be ok,
well that is a super way to live every day.
Oh - and no one else can ever do what he does for me.
****************************************************
DISCLAIMER - this is not a sexual story at all.
It is the story of a partnership.
Where both people are truly interested in keeping the partnership healthy.
I know I am a large girl.
I KNOW that losing some weight would be best for my health.
At that moment, I needed to just BE.
Then I could pick myself up and go on.
NOTE TO MEN - honesty about her weight is important.
But honesty about her being special is even more.
Don't you dare just tell her
Dammit - be sure you show her.
Don't hide her
Don't try to make her be "your ideal"
Love her where she is right now
Gently show her how freaking awesome she really is.
Think about the phrasing and the long term impact of your words.
It makes a difference.
I poured out my heart.
He spoke from his.
Simple
Affirming
Real
Hard
Velveteen Rabbit Stuff
I struggle to this day with my weight.
But that day's conversation stays with me.
Keeping me plugging away at trying to become more healthy.
And to look better.
And the knowing that everything will be ok,
well that is a super way to live every day.
Oh - and no one else can ever do what he does for me.
****************************************************
DISCLAIMER - this is not a sexual story at all.
It is the story of a partnership.
Where both people are truly interested in keeping the partnership healthy.
I know I am a large girl.
I KNOW that losing some weight would be best for my health.
At that moment, I needed to just BE.
Then I could pick myself up and go on.
NOTE TO MEN - honesty about her weight is important.
But honesty about her being special is even more.
Don't you dare just tell her
Dammit - be sure you show her.
Don't hide her
Don't try to make her be "your ideal"
Love her where she is right now
Gently show her how freaking awesome she really is.
Think about the phrasing and the long term impact of your words.
It makes a difference.
No comments:
Post a Comment