I don't know what to say to her.......

This past Monday I was told that I have breast cancer. I see a surgeon on Tuesday and will know more after my meeting with him. I NEED prayer. I need all my family, friends, churches and facebook family praying for me. I am believing God for a healing, if he chooses doctors and surgery to do that, then so be it. I don't know why I am walking through this trial but I know that God is walking through it with me. I will keep you updated and we all will see Gods mighty hand through this.
God bless you all and keep me in your prayers.

The above is part of a Facebook post from my news feed this morning. 

A friend who was closer to me years ago has been diagnosed. Time - life - distance - all those things add up to growing apart. And yet - reading those those words - I immediately burst into tears. 

I KNOW what those words do to you. What they can do to your loved ones. What they can mean to moving forward when you suddenly become frozen in fear. 

You want people to tell you everything will be ok - 

You want someone to give you the RIGHT course thru this path - 

You want (need) someone by your side who will help you - 

Oh - but you are scared to say that -

It makes people uncomfortable to see you need this -

And you cry in the shower - 

And you argue with God -

And you try to juggle all the information they are tossing at you -

And your brain wants to shut down -

And you want to scream --- Hell no, not me, I do not have the time, energy, money, for this

Oh but it's real - and scary - and sad - and heartbreaking -

But he made it through and she made it through - 

And you want them to tell you that you will make it too - 

But - and - or -  uhm - 

And see I know all of this - and I do not know what to say to her. 

Because reality - EVERY SINGLE CASE IS DIFFERENT
Your best bet is to listen and learn and make educated decisions
And each person has to make these as individual decisions. 
And NO ONE has the right to tell you the decision you just made or you made last week or last year was the wrong one. 
This is your life - your body - your health - your decisions
And this person will say "do this" and another person with say "do that" and another will say "don't" and then there are those who will say "what? why? are you crazy?" 
They have no business in the decisions. 

I  know - I've been there.

I do not know what to say to her - so I went with the safe response - 

I'm praying for you - and I immediately started - and I will keep continuing to do so - and if there is one part of this I do KNOW FOR SURE - prayer works. 

And about those decisions - I've cleared the hurdles - jumped through the hoops - crawled out of the tunnel - and it would seem 

The one decision I made - on this side of all that - the decision I personally feel the best about - is the one that that says 

I'm living beautifully 
I'm living happily
I'm living healthy
I'm living fully 
And I am loving every minute of it. 

Flowers on my desk included ----