Lost

how it happened - I have NO idea

but why it happened I can figure out

I haven't posted a sunrise or sunset picture in days.

Life does not feel particularly beautiful - or joy filled - or even blessing filled.

Why --

Because I KNOW the next step I am about to take is one of the hardest i have ever taken.

and I KNOW it is going to come with wagging tongues and ugly phrases (because people will not understand)

and I KNOW that those I care deeply for are going to be hurt and confused and very possibly angry

but I also KNOW that I have given it every opportunity to be different and it is not.

see KNOWING the next step and KNOWING the possible hardships from it and KNOWING that it is the very best for me and for some of those who will swear it is the worst possible thing ever.

well - all that damned KNOWING - has me NOT KNOWING how to move forward at all.

there - now I said it - maybe it will lose some power over me.