A Tangled Mess

photo is from HERE

There is a great deal of beautiful stuff over there.

Beauty Everyday

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I walked through the web. 

Cussing under my breath.

I hate spider webs. 

They creep me out. 

But, in a true ironic manner.

I fiercely protect the tiny garden spider and her web in my smokehouse door.

Then I read blogs. 

Thought provoking blogs.

I read some of my own writing again. 

I ponder a nightmare from last night. 

And an unexpected turn in a conversation

From earlier in the week. 

And I wonder.

Why is my house like that web in the picture?

The little garden spider in my doorway keeps her web so tidy.

Catch her food. Wrap it up. Clean out the web. Patch it up. 

Back to center. Ready again. 

I'm so careful to protect her.

Careful not to mess up her web. 

But, those other webs. 

Tangled messes.

Full of trash - debris of living - dust and dirt - pieces of trash. 

Just sticky enough to catch prey. 

And me - it would seem.

Then move on to the next one.

Start again. 

No harm - no foul.

No change. 

Those just make me cuss.

I hate spider webs

They creep me out.

I'm tired of my home creeping me out too.

I have a writing spider in the smokehouse doorway. 

There is beauty in her world. 

I really want more beauty in mine. 

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Yes - I am a tangled mess. 

And untangling is so overwhelming.

And the fear of what that untangling may cause

Well that causes me to freeze again.

No reason to step forward. 

Just stay right here.

Its safe

Comfy.

But in that tiny place in the center of me. 

Things are changing.

I've always said - I'll announce my midlife crisis. 

Send invitations to join me. 

Right now --- I think a writing spider might just be the perfect design for the invitation cards.