conversations .....

It was an innocent sounding conversation

Like women do when they let their guards down and really talk.

She shared the weight gain. 

And reasons why. 

Not excuses ---- reasons. 

It's about control isn't it? 

Or lack of. 

there is the point where you beat yourself up. 

YOUR OWN LACK OF CONTROL. 

then comes the point where life is out of control 

and you grab onto the one thing you can. 

My issues are with food. 

I blame that for my weight gain. 

Because - if I try to control it - I am afraid of the anorexia. 

But that is an excuse

And "excuses are lies you tell yourself."

NO excuses from me today.

This is going to sound like "Squirrel Shit" 

Random Babbling --- but hey, it's my blog - and I want this written down. 

I am a woman in what most would consider MIDLIFE. 

FYI - I wear my hair too long for my age. 

according to some. 

But I've worn it short too. 

And had feathers. 

And bright red spikes.

(Those went over great with some.

And no so great with others.)

Hair  - its just hair.

Guess what - I am the same person either way.

I've told my girls - it's hair - it grows back. As long as it's clean - wear it anyway you choose.

If you ask some, I should dress differently than I do. 

Putting on new jeans and cowboy boots and calling that dressed is completely ok with me. 

I happen to love my boots. 

I really love my red ones.

And I really am saving for some Old Gringos

I do however hate to pull at my clothes

I have control over that.

I can wear comfy. 

And I can work towards making the ones I already own fit better

Next thing I've told my girls.

Don't dress slutty - you know cut down to here and up to there and then expect men to treat you with respect.  

Control. 

Go ahead - try to control others. 

Won't work.

Only one you can control. 

Is yourself.

Judging is a form of trying to control.

You could.

You should. 

He should.

She should.

Why did you?

Why didn't you? 

Don't you think that's inappropriate?

You really need to do that "THIS" way.

(Interpret "THIS" as "MY")

Go ahead - try to control others.

You may even have that idea hidden from yourself.

Call it loving correction.

Call it opinion.

Call it what ever.

They will balk.

They may even walk.

I know --- it happened to me.

Now I know - the ONLY one I can control

IS ME!!!