Why.....

Picture has not ONE thing to do with this post. 

Every day I feel like it's uphill.

And that I cannot breathe.

And I look back at old journals and I do not remember ever not feeling like this.

I'm sad. Deep in my heart sad. 

I keep trying to hold it all together. 

But since there is no talking about hard stuff. 

I'm doing this shit alone too. 

 So I've become silent. 

See as has been written clearly here.

I'm a pleaser.

we gonna do this your way.

right up 'til I explode.

I'm sad.

AND 

I'm tired.

And those damned circles on the ceiling. 

well I'm not really excited about counting them again.