My Empty Nest

Abby has gone North.

She now has a Staten Island, NY Address

A New York Drivers License

And a New York voter registration.

I am so very proud of her adventurous step out into the world.

There's Joe - he's part of the reason for this little residence change.

(Someday, I may forgive him for taking here way off up there) 

(Just kidding - he is in the NYPD Academy and will soon be one of New York's Finest Officers - how could you not be proud of the young man) 

Mama has an Abby sized hole in her world.

But then this little guy joined us. 

Elias Charles Felton

August 26, 2015

9lbs 1oz

He's a cutie - don't you think?

I'm spending time strolling, riding, running.

Making my own transitions for this particular time in my life. 

At times my view feels a little bit hazy.

Much like Madison County on a foggy country morning.

And sometimes it feels like I can see beauty for miles.

Sunsets and sunrises.

Still I collect them.

Reminders that God is generous with Grace and Beauty.

There is an occasion critter encounter.

Again reminders that no matter what the circumstance may be, He is there.

Plans for my future are solid.

So here I find myself. 

Mama to two

Mama T to several more

Watching - waiting - knowing.

Empty nest and all. 

And hard working hands gently cradle a sweet one.

(be still my heart)

We pray for him so

This world is so hard now.

And getting harder every moment.

Little Eli - I hope you too, like big Cam, will be able to say 

"Pop is my best friend" 

or

"I was having too much fun with Mama T to miss you mama"

Only forward.

Story -

I was asked to direct the wedding of my Best Girlfriend's daughter.

What a responsibility.

What an honor.

It was hard work.

It was fatigue inducting. 

It was glorious. 

The next few posts will be about the wedding and details.

But this one.....

This post is about story.

About friendship.

About love, laughter, acceptance, grace, forgiveness.

About two women with history. 

About two women with future. 

About Melissa and I

********************************************

Once upon a time, a young family visited Jones Chapel UMC. 

Then they became regular attending folks. 

A nice man with a beautiful wife.

And three adorable little girls. 

Outside the church, I called them 

"that couple with the three pretty little girls"

We became friends.

Our girls became friends. 

That became a close friendship. 

We were together A LOT. 

There was soccer, softball, basketball.

There was youth and children's work at church.

There were parties and gatherings.

Phone calls.

Visits.

(being knocked down stairs)

(Moving dinner parties)

There was even my breaking and entering her house 

(Long story, but she "supposedly left a key" and that didn't work out) 

And there are many INSIDE JOKES

Melissa is a bit older than I 

and

a long, long, time ago

there was a discussion

about how 

OLD PEOPLE COLLECT BREAD TIES

please go read at the link, it makes this make sense.

Welcome back.

Melissa and I (she's the pretty one on the right)

Friday Night at the rehearsal dinner.

Several years ago - I made her a 40th Birthday Crown from bread ties.

On Friday night, She handed me a bag and said 

"we got you something"

Not expected by me,

Appreciated. Yes.

And Her daughter says I cannot wait to see her face. 

I began to open my gift.

Lift tissue paper out.

See THAT SAME DANGED CROWN.

Melissa had kept it all these years. 

Knowing the RIGHT time would come to return it. 

As you can see in the the picture below,

I immediately burst into hysterical laughter

Because I just KNEW.

I laughed.

I cried.

I snorted - yes.

I almost wet myself.

It was that funny.

And I was moved beyond measure. 

There were "real" gifts that I glanced at in that bag. 

Gifts of monetary value. 

Selected especially for me. 

I love them.

But upon pulling that crown from the wrapping, I had just unwrapped the REAL gift.

A gift of friendship.

One that has been through trials.

Through laughter, tears, joy, fears.

One that moved a half cooked dinner party from one house to another because the football game was blacked out.

Has drank together.

Has cried together.

Has prayed together.

Has praised together. 

Has endured two weddings (three more to go)

Has accepted changes.

Has endured medical crisis.

Has kept secrets.

Has spoken honestly.

Has spoken unkindly.

Has begged forgiveness

Has given grace. 

A friendship that has history - and future.

A friendship that picks right up again even after long periods of time together.

As her daughter said.

The crown was the real gift in that bag.

Yes, that keeping of the crown all these years

makes the crown (remember it was made from trash)

have such a beautiful value.

Because 

that crown is a visible reminder of the real gift

A GOD BLESSED FRIENDSHIP.

I how I hope each and everyone who lives finds a this kind of beautiful friendship.

Melissa Ellisor. 

I love you like a sister. 

Thank you for loving me.

And may the bread tie battle rage on.

(these are cell phone pictures from that moment)

(thanks to whoever captured this) 

Still Choosing Love ----

A little over six years ago today, I got a nine line text message on my phone.

I remember so much about this because I was on my way to a small country church. 

It was the same day we buried Irvin Moore,  my Aunt's Brother.

It was also one of the most difficult messages I have ever received. 

My oldest daughter.

Methodist raised, baptised in middle school.

Was choosing to become a member of

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

and she delivered the news by text message. 

I was devastated. 

I cried for two freaking weeks. 

I know - it could have been much more devastating news. 

I cried. 

I held one massive pity party. 

I questioned my parenting (what did I do wrong?)

I prayed.

I talked to her boyfriend's mom (he was Mormon) 

I went to the scripture. 

I talked to my friend Raesha (oh thank you big time for her) (she is Mormon)

I went to the scripture.

I was repeated reminded by that same scripture that God is in control. 

And every day, I chose love. 

Her Dad and I went to her Baptism.

Little sister did not. 

She did not agree with the decision either, and I was not about to MAKE her go.

We did not stay for the party afterwards.

I saw no reason to celebrate.

I was only choosing to love.

It's been six years.

The photo above is from her "RING CEREMONY" 

A gathering to allow her family and friends to be a part of her wedding day. 

To this day, I refer to it as the fake wedding.

I did not get to witness the actual wedding, because I am not Mormon and therefore not allowed in the temple. 

There will be children.

They will be presented (or whatever the faith calls it) in the temple.

I will not be there. I am not Mormon and therefore not allowed in the temple. 

These details hurt.

I will not pretend that they do not. 

But I also know that her decisions could have been much worse. 

And God is in control. 

She is now married. 

A Chemistry Grad Student at UGA

Active in her congregation.

Working.

Saving.

Mommy to two pups.

And still one of the greatest loves of my life. 

I chose love.

Over and over and over and over. 

Because she is my child.

I did not have to understand her decision

I did not have to agree with her decision

I do have to respect her decision. 

And by choosing to LOVE through the transition of that change, 

we set a pattern of choosing love in lots of situations.

And she is still a very active part of my life. 

I could have taken other paths through it.

But I might have lost her being a large everyday part of my life

And that would have been a real tragedy. 

Molly, I Love You. 

I always will. 

unconventional ---- for a baby

So we are getting a new little one in our crew.

This baby will be LOVED by so many. 

I normally would jump right on a crochet blanket, but Grandma crochets too.

So I will be doing a cross stitch piece. 

I have these three on the bubble. 

Please please vote for your favorite. 

Baby Deer - name will be "carved in the wall above and to the left of the deer. (such a sweet picture)

Forest Friends - name either in the sky to the right of the eagle (my preference)  or in the waves of the stream. (I really love the face on that beaver and the wolf pup is beautiful) 

Autumn solitude - name will be "carved" in the trunk of the tree. (Fall is my favorite time of the year) 

we do not know what we are getting. 

So I have chosen what I think are fairly  gender neutral. 

This will not be a typical birth record thing, but the name will be added as indicated in the description of each. 

Help --- I keep shuffling and these are BIG pieces so I need to quit procrastinating.

These are all Patterns from www.mysticstitch.com

Detailed full cross stitch patterns around 300x350 stitches. 

I am SOOOOOO excited about this little one. 

21

So this little girl

with a heart of gold

turned 21

yes, I now have two adult children

that one above 

she's the baby

the softball princess

funny

sweet

kind

loving

smart

I could go on and on and on

what she really is 

my heart

and on a sweet July evening

that ended with a sunset like this

we celebrated her

there was a public humiliation that included her version of a dance

and a wonderful dinner that included her big sister and hubby 

her dad and myself

and her bestie childhood buddy

that dinner included love 

stories

wit 

loads of laughter

including me completely losing it

you know 

that thing that really is not that funny

but strikes you 

and you 

CAN"T

STOP 

LAUGHING

I laughed until I could not breathe

tears rolled down my cheeks

and yes - I almost peed my pants. 

that laughter was so good for me

has not happened in such a long time with these two monsters

Happy Birthday Softball Princess

I love you

********************************************

that last picture is very telling really.

quotes from last night

"look at my eyebrows, I'm supposed to be a redhead"

"Why did you order so much food"

"you have to love me, but it's easy 'cause I'm cute and funny"

and the quote represented by the picture

"It's ok, I grabbed Abby's butt"

?!?!?! SISTERS!?!?!?

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

Rest in Peace

I was blessed to know him. 

I was blessed to help care for him. 

I was blessed to love him. 

and 

I am not the only person who was touched by him.

So many people stopped to pay their respects. 

To offer encouragement and condolences for the loved ones left behind. 

Rest In Peace

Dorsey T Rich

Go rest high on that mountain.

********************************************

Now a word of advice. 

DO NOT PUT IT ASIDE.

I heard so many times yesterday

He cut my hair when I was little.

I remember him cutting my Dads hair.

When my Dad was sick, he came to the house to cut his hair.

I used to drop by the Barber shop just to visit, if he was alone, I often found him studying his ss lesson.

I came through Royston the other day and thought, "I should stop and see Dorsey"

If someone made a difference in your life (or a loved one's life), by all means take the time to let them know.

Even if you think they won't remember you.

Even if you really did not KNOW them yourself. 

It does not have to be a lengthy visit.

Or a visit at all, even a card will do. 

I had some one tell me about a man once, "he was so good to my Mama"

My response "call him- or drop by and see him - just tell him THANK YOU" 

As of right now, I don't think that has happened. 

Coulda - woulda - shoulda

those words frustrate me. 

Are we really too busy to take a few minutes and make a phone call?

Send a card? 

Drop by? 

Send a flower? 

 OR 

have we simply lost sight of encouraging people by letting them know that it matters

********************************

Helen Duncan - ended a visit with us the other afternoon with a phrase that I may adopt.

Frail - body stooped over - voice barely audible

She spoke softly as she hugged me.

"I appreciate you"

Three words that require no long term visit or commitment, but they convey so much encouragement, so much grace, and kindness. 

Just think about it. 

And do not put off letting someone know that they made a difference.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

in his honor.........

Memorial Day Weekend Glimpses from my daughter's facebook. 

Fort Benning

Columbus, Georgia

Molly, Dad, Abby

They had a great trip. 

The girls told me "ALL" about it. 

I am so glad both girls were able to go with their dad. 

I so hope that continues. 

Why Fort Benning? 

Because the man above was being honored with a paver there. 

He served as a combat medic in Korea. 

And Georgia Army National Guard  for years after.

The girls told me about the stories GrandDaddy told them through the day. 

Charles - Alan

Lynda - GrandMother - GrandDaddy - Jackie (Alan's Wife) - John

All four of the children there - that is a beautiful thing. 

SFC Columbus Herbert Atkinson

Thank you for your service.

We love you so much. 

To all of our armed forces.

To all of our Public Safety personnel

THANK YOU.