Clutter Busting #5 - yarn stash and controlling it.

Pretty sky porn picture just because I liked it. 

Abby plays Softball - college softball.

It's her senior year and I am trying to make as many of the games as possible. 

Meaning --- ALL DAY Saturday and Sunday are often spent at the ballfield

Either a road trip or her home field (which is still an hour from home) 

I have crocheted at ball games for years now. 

Nothing new here. 

Except for my approach to it now. 

Gathering supplies adds to the clutter.

I would see pretty yarn.

Buy pretty yarn.

Feel guilty about pretty yarn.

Cuss about storing pretty yarn.

I had it stashed in boxes in the hall. 

Bags tucked all kinds of places. 

I had yarn all over the place.

Crochet hooks too.

Then when I needed to start a project, I would go buy pretty yarn for that project.

here's what's new. 

I have consolidated my yarn stash to a large degree. (yay me)

Mind you - it is still ongoing, I keep finding yarn (see line above about bags everywhere)

And I have a list of projects I NEED to do. 

In an earlier attempt to organize the stuff, I had purchased some clear zipper bags to store the stuff in. 

(Yes, I know - I do need to be better organized, I need less stuff) 

I have this list of projects - I keep it on the corner of my desk at work 

Right now it has 4 crochet projects on it.

I have grabbed 4 of these zipper bags. 

And one Project Bag.

And one plastic Box.

I have the list. I sit down. Drag out all my stashed yarn boxes. And start putting projects into the zipper bags. Mixing and matching yarns from the massive stash. 

After I have compiles yarns that I think work together for a project, I then simply drop a note in my bag. (ie. blanket Renee and Nick (April) ) 

the label is who it belongs to - and when I need to have it finished

I then hang them on the closet rod by punching a hole in a zipper bag and using a simple coat hanger.

I was working on a blanket when I started this. (from the stash)

a yellow - green- and variegated yarn. 

So I finished it.

Folded and in a zipper bag. (this one has no planned owner so I'll have one for a surprise baby if needed) 

Then there was the scarf - a fun project idea that had been brewing for a while.

Also a stash project. 

And I finished it. 

The finishing was a big deal too - See I have bags and boxes of unfinished items cluttering my world too. 

I have found that plastic lidded boxes are better suited for having in the car with a waiting project.

Yarn seems to escape tote bags. 

I have the "next" project yarn and hook (and pattern if needed) in that box. 

So when I finished the scarf at a the first ball game of the day, I folded it, balled the remaining bits of yarn (we will cover that later) and retrieved the next project from the car. 

Loaded it into my project bag (made by my buddy Vallen) and started this one. 

Having this plan, I am able to continue with my normal way of watching softball.

Hook in hand.

Points to make about this 

1. I am using up stash - aka reducing my clutter.

2. I am accomplishing handmade gifts. (very important me) 

3. Being prepared means I don't "run to WalMart, Hobby Lobby, Michaels" to grab some yarn because I am out of something to do.

yes I am guilty of that

4. Making the Zipper bag - with the notes - and hanging them in order means I can take a look and be ahead of the stress of waiting too long to start the handmade gift. 

5. It also gives me the time to buy for a project (if needed). For instance - I buy colors I am drawn to and one of the blankets I need to finish by October is in colors that were in slim supply in my stash. I made the list and dropped it in my wallet. Then when I saw a great yarn on sale I was able to buy just what I needed for this project. Make the zipper bag and get it in the system. 

As of right this moment, I have cleared the following from the stash.

- Six skeins of baby yarn into a blanket

- 5 skeins of lush soft yarn into a scarf that I love.

- 5 skeins of denim blue and some scrap bits are being made into a baby blanket now.

I have in the plastic box (on deck - so to speak) and from the stash.

- 8 skeins of assorted blues, tans, and neutrals (for a sofa throw) 

I have in zipper bags

- 8 skeins of a color called PEACOCK (yes it is stunning) for a baby blanket

- 8 skeins of newly purchased assorted yarn (see note 5 above) for a sofa blanket.

Look at that - that's 32 skeins of yarn GONE from the stash. 

And 8 that will not get added to the stash. 

This is cool.

Results.

ONE CLUTTER STRESSED WOMAN BECOMING LESS STRESSED.

Hard Words to Hear

We interrupt the broadcast of the clutter chronicles for this one.

Let's start by saying that I love Patti Dobbs. She is the Mom of FOUR great kids. She is the Youth Minister of our church. She is a wife, a daughter, a sister. She has a heart that I cannot begin to describe. She is physically one of the prettiest people I know. SHE IS BEAUTIFUL. AND she is one of my best friends.

But that has not always been the case.

Patti's daughter and my Softball Princess have been schoolmates since first grade - they also played travel ball together for many many years. So we spent a lot of time with each other. I actually invited her to Jones Chapel for an event. Turns out that has been one of my best decisions ever.

This past Sunday Morning, we had no students in the Sunday School Class so we sat and chatted. About big things and little things. The conversation suddenly became focused on our friendship. Patti commented on the changes in my life over the last several years (let's say since I did NOT die from a ruptured kidney caused by cancer). I am sharing this because I want others to see that the public person is not always reality.

Patti shared this

"All those years I would not have called us friends. You were not easy to be around --- actually you were GRUMPY."

You know what ---- Patti was right.

Yet - God has a plan. And now I would call Patti a good friend today.

I was really kinda hurt by the whole conversation. I knew Patti does not have that kind of heart, so I did what I have now learned is my best way to deal with hurt. Don't react in a negative way immediately.  Live with it and make decisions about it. What caused me to feel hurt? What needs to happen to resolve this hurt? What needs to change because of this hurt?

Here is what happened afterwards.

What caused me to feel hurt? At first I would have said --- Patti's words. Then when I lived with it and pondered it. I realized that what hurt most was that it was true. I was hard to be around. Grumpy. Snide. Easily irritated. Quick tempered.

What needed to happen to resolve this hurt? Deeper discussion with Patti. (more on that in a minute)

What needed to change because of this hurt? Actually in this case so much has already changed, that only continuing my current way of day-to-day living has brought about a lot of change already. So I choose to continue on forward.

Now about that deeper discussion.

I am sharing my and Patti's private messaging from later that afternoon. (patti's comments are in white)

I thought later after our conversation that I hoped I didn't hurt your feelings saying that...it is just so dramatically noticeable to me the transformation of pure joy and peace that I see in you now compared to then...and I thought too about you and Marianne always sitting together in your lawn chairs, I was always on the bleachers or pacing cause I was doing good just to get me and the kids and their stuff there much less packing chairs...but I think now if we were to go to a ball game together I would be beside you in a chair crocheting enjoying the sun and cheering on our girls...I love you! and I am so thankful for the love you poured into Chastin and Karlie while you were their youth pastor. I am thankful that Noel looks up to you as an encourager and a seeker of good in everything and I am thankful that you love Noah and are praying for him and me as we go through this journey. thank you for being my friend

it was hard to hear. only because I thought I had it carefully tucked away so no one knew. I was not hurt. your honesty is special and loving. .we got years to crochet. and encourage and pray. I love you and your family.

Sunday 3:56pm

Sunday 9:34pm

Oh Patti I have been reading this again and I had no idea, you thought I had my crap together. I had chairs only because I always left them in the car. I did p pour my love into all those kids, I still do. Noel is special to me in her own way. And Noah is not a bad kid, he and you will survive this. I do love you my friend. Thank you for giving me a chance to be able to say "Patti is one of my very best friends"

I am sharing this only to remember how this affected me - and for the lesson it contains.

I was grumpy for a lot of reasons. But I thought I had it hidden so danged well. From everyone. I also thought that I could (SHOULD) simply wade on through the issues.

Maybe this does tie to clutter busting, because the same issues that caused me to be grumpy, manifested themselves in cluttering way as well.

Patti seemed to have her act together to me and honestly I was a little intimidated by my impression that that was the case. After all she had four kids to get there and feed and watch. And she was almost always smiling and so so cheerful.

I have lived with this entire conversation all week now. And I can say what I have learned from it that I think we all can benefit from reading.

1. Things are often as they seem.

2. Life is big. Life is hard. All of us struggle.

3. Sometimes the person that intimidates us, or aggravates us, or impresses us, may be pretending or struggling or share those same feelings about us.

4. There is always hope that a real friendship might grow.

5. Give that person a chance. Your approaching may be just the thing to change things.

6. Change can ALWAYS happen.

7. There is ALWAYS more to the story.

8. God always knows ----- and has a plan ---- we just have to be willing.


Patti - I am blessed that you are my friend now. I am not hurt at all. Your honesty was / is beautiful.
I Love you.

This is so hard --- clutter post #4

No pretty pictures with this one because the realization is not pretty and big ugly tears have been a huge part of this one.

This came in email form for me from Kathi Lipp - you can sign up for her emails at the link

If you need reasons to stay motivated as you clear out the clutter, think about the ways that clutter has kept you from relationships. 

When I started to talk about the book with friends, I was AMAZED at the legacy that clutter has in our lives.

The number of people who don't spend time with their parents because of the overwhelming clutter in their folk's homes.

The number of families that don't eat dinner at the table because it's so piled with stuff.

The number of couples who don't feel rested in their own bedrooms because the piles of "stuff".

If you're feeling overwhelmed by the amount of decluttering that needs to be done, remember - this isn't just for a tidy house - it's for the people inside your home.

*****************************************************************************

A letter to Molly and Abby (and their boys) --

I am so freaking sorry.

Our house was never one to be proud of. 

Always cluttered.

Always a mess. 

I now have a better understanding of how that kept you wanting to "hang" at other people's homes. 

From the porches - through the kitchen - all the way to those closed doors hiding the mess in the bedrooms. 

It was never your fault --- this has been about me and my not dealing with issues that have needed to be resolved for many many years. 

I love you both so much. And this is one of the hardest things I have ever said. I hope we can move beyond the years we lost and have many bright days ahead. 

Please let's talk about things - as they were, as they are, as they evolve. 

Dealing with issues has not been a strength of mine. And I filled that "hole" in my soul with things. Oh hell, I have made and continue to make really pretty stuff, but I failed in making you a welcoming home. 

As I continue to resolve inner and outer conflict, things are changing. Many of the changes are so hard, but I pray that they are all changes for the better for ALL of us. 

Just remember that you two are my life. I knew that I could never seem to get my act together, but I always tried to put you guys first. Just to see your smiles made my darkest days better. 

The Cancer five years ago changed so much. You both may have no idea how close I came to dying, but there it is. I get to celebrate life every day now. And even though I live with the fear of it returning, I will LIVE HARD, LIVE BEAUTIFULLY, AND LOVE FULLY. 

Molly, you married and have started your big, beautiful life. I am so proud of who you are and how you seem to be managing things. I'm right here loving you and being one of your biggest cheerleaders. Celebrating your successes. And lifting your struggles. I do hope that someday you will be able to say "my mama is also my friend" 

Abby - you are about to launch yourself into that big old world. I am scared to death of the changes coming (I was when Molly left home too), but I will not allow my fears to, in any way, keep you from living beautiful too. And I am proud of who you are, even though I did do some unconventional things with you as you were growing up, you have become one of my heroes. I also hope that you can tell people "my mama is my friend". 

I am trying so hard to make things better for me - which in turn will be better for all of us. Please forgive the failures. Celebrate the successes. Love hard through the evolving. 

And don't be mad when I pack up the tractor pull trophies you got when you were four. 

Above all --- remember - NO MATTER WHAT, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

MOM

*****************************************************************************

Yes peeps ---- this is exhausting and emotional and I will have set backs and successes. 

It is finally not about organizing stuff, it's about resolving issues and getting my crap together finally. 

Today, I am dealing with the regrets of how this may have affected my girls, but I'll simply work on forgiving myself along with asking them for their forgiveness. 

Have a beautiful day . 

Magazines and Clippings.

I love a good quality magazine. It's a huge problem area. I looked back through my other blog this morning and discovered that clutter and lack of organization has been a focus for so damned long. 

I should have just worked on the real issues --- like loneliness, feeling unworthy, regrets, fears ---- this can go on and on and on. 

I hang onto things for far too long. Even bad things. There is a big admission. 

I have worked on those things diligently for almost five solid years. And now I am beginning to see how the mental and emotional issues feed this visual clutter / hoarding problem.  NOTICE I SAID BEGINNING TO SEE. 

I am getting rid of stuff and it actually feels ok. Night before last, I chunked an entire kitchen trash bag full of clippings that no longer applied to my life. (I have big boxes, bags, baskets of this stuff.) 

As I was doing this, I found things that really spoke to my heart (my girls trip journals from long ago vacations).

I found things that made me wonder out loud  "why the fuck was this important to me?" 

I found things that still mattered to me. I kept those.

After about 30 minutes of this project - a small stack from a basket that has plenty more to deal with - I felt myself having a negative response to the project. I started having a hard time deciding. I could tell that old emotions were surfacing and I wanted to "hang on" to things that my rational brain was begging me to let go of or deal with. 

OK. Here is what I did.

I finished that pile of clippings - did not get any more from the basket. 

I cleaned up the area where I was working. Stacking the "KEEP" pile in a neat small box. 

I took that trash bag to the outdoor can. 

I put the 6 magazines that I could not bear to toss in a bag and took them to my car. Those were donated to a young lady who's creative interests matched the magazines. 

I mourned - yes, mourned. Many of the trashed clippings were decor ideas for the house and yards. Those did not happen. Many of them were ideas for my girls and I to do together. Those did not happen. Many were from trips or events that I wanted to be a part of. Those did not happen. There were other things in there that did not happen.

I picked up a hand stitching project and threaded my needle and I stitched through that mourning for a while. Hand stitching - making - that's my safe zone. I am ok there. I can think and deal with issues there. I had worked hard to fight these feelings and push them back to that place I use to hide them. But this time I had decided to deal, so I let myself do that. I shed tears. I bitched. I whined. 

I dealt. Something I should have been doing all along. 

It was hard and now I am finished with that one. 

Next project. 

Maybe someday - I will finally be ok. 

Clutter = embarrassment and shame

Take a look at this picture.

The kitchen still looks much like this today.

That's Molly, my oldest, cooking what we call "long order pancakes" 

But this post is about clutter. 

So look around her. 

window sill (that damned easter egg is still there and this picture was taken in 2009)

the stuff on top of the cabinet too.

the corner shelves - those too

I would love to say it is because I have very little storage space (placing blame) 

I would love to say that I have no pantry - another excuse.

Let's try - someone else should put it away

I actually feel this way a lot. 

Reality - they don't know how to deal with it either. 

Am I lazy - I do not think so.

I am absolutely overwhelmed by it all --- 

there. now let's talk about dealing with the overwhelm. 

I buy stuff 

I bring it in

I sit it down

There it lives, whether it is a good neighborhood or not. 

I rarely invite anyone to my house

I am embarrassed by the condition it stays in

The children would rather not bring people home.

They are embarrassed too. 

So how to deal? 

As I am coming to terms with a lot of emotional stuff - (read backwards and you will see what that is about) - I am getting rid of things and or finding a real home for them in my house. 

Let's look carefully at the picture. 

the cheese grater needs to be IN a cabinet. 

the alcohol bottle needs to be in the bathroom cabinet

and that is a cell charger in that basket hanging over there (hello - I use my phone as the alarm and I sleep in the bedroom)

So today - I will go home and gather all that off the top of the cabinet. 

I will either - toss - put in a better home - donate - or determine how i want the top of that cabinet to be used and fix it. 

JUST THE TOP OF THE CABINET

I can deal with that - can't I.

CLUTTER ----

DRIVING HOME FROM THE SOFTBALL TOURNAMENT 

RADIO SCAN AS THE STATION WE ARE LISTENING TO FADES OUT

I STOP ON A TALK SHOW

SOMETHING I NEVER LISTEN TO

BUT THIS ONE CAUGHT MY ATTENTION

IT WAS ABOUT CLUTTER

ABOUT STUFF

ABOUT EMOTIONAL TIES TO STUFF

ABOUT DYSFUNCTIONAL THINGS THAT CAUSE US TO "stuff" OUR LIVES WITH STUFF. 

I AM GUILTY.

I HAVE REPEATEDLY TRIED TO ORGANIZE MY STUFF. 

MY LIFE IS A DISASTER ZONE

IT IS UP TO ME TO DEAL WITH THE STUFF

INCLUDING THE EMOTIONAL ISSUES THAT ARE AT THE ROOT OF THE ISSUE

GET READY, THIS IS DIFFICULT

FOR THE NEXT FEW POSTS

WE ARE GONNA DEAL WITH THE STUFF OF STUFF. 

resource for today

kathi lipp
truths about clutter
be - longing

A line up of Favorites.

I've been taking pictures with my phone and a small point and shoot camera for a long time. 

Crusty Old Guy gave me a nice camera for Christmas.

I love it and I am still learning how to use it. 

I have to say - these are some of my favorite shots so far. 

I have even had some of my customers talk about having prints of these done to frame.

Maybe. 

Most are sunrises and sunsets.

But a few new detail shots have slipped into this mix. 

There is no purpose to this post except to share moments in time that I found worthy of capture.

1 - Squirrel - he's just cute. 

2 - A grainy silhouette of a sweetgum ball -- we made ornaments from these one year when the girls were small. 

3 - Crusty Old Guy likes the contrails in this one. I like the wave looking cloud formations.

4 - This is kind of moody to me, but may be among my top ten pictures ever. 

5 - A classic car instrument panel. 

This one is a definite print one.

Just because you cannot go wrong with graphic vintage car views, especially in red and white.

6 - All the makings of a heart.

And a capture of a moment when I felt amazing and sure about things.

But my God was it cold as I found myself on my knees on that bridge that morning. 

7 - I stood in the rain to get this shot. 

I could see that it was going to be a great evening for the sunset. 

I grabbed my camera and out the door I went yelling over my shoulder

"Sunset - be back in a bit"

8 - More classic car details. 

This may be a set ......

9 - Oh the colors in God's paintbox. 

10 - Another golden moment.

11 - This reflective image.

It was COLD for this one too. 

12 - And this one is quite possibly my favorite so far.

It's fun to be capturing these moments in such a way. 

I'm celebrating life's details and I find myself looking through the galleries on my laptop and smiling as I remember the moment I took each one. 

Do you have a favorite among these? 

Please - if you do - let me know.

Have a wonderful day.